She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
