I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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