Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
