Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
no more duck duck goose at the bar
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Randomize
