She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
