The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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