I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
