Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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