he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.