okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
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What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.