I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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