There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
