he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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