I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
