Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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