yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
