it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
