mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
