some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
