Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?