It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks