I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.