Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
