The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
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Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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