What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
