when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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