so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
