you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize