matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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