im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I don't think brook has ever known best
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
no you cant smoke seaweed
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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