and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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