I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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