i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
