i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
