you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I believe in your delicious
Everclear isn't food dammit
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
