My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize