I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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