you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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