lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
