i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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