I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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