After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
