i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Found the puke drawer
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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