I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
