how can u be prego again
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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