TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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