One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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