I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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