So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
