he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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