Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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