So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
