Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.