I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
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My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.