pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do