youre lurking in front of me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If its not for food we ain't going out.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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