Wat do u mean how?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I could make wine with my vomit
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?