Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
