Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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