Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
tell me about the eggs
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
