you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
