How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
only you would photoshop your dick
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
