He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
