he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Panties = found
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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