my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
