Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
A+ Viking dick
Oh god it's open bar.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
