He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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