and i looked up. we had an audience...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
